I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
