well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
did you just send me my own nude
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
