I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
