i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
