Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
