I didn't shave. On purpose
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
