There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize