coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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