Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
