Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
