I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
how does that bad decision feel?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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