I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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