i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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