Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
