none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
