is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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