Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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