My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
