Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He felt like a one man threesome
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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