she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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