It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
