whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
