Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
