the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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