I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
