Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
