They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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