She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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