did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
