i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
