We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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