Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
