if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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