You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
