I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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