Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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