is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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