i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
