dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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