Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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