she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
