I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
