Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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