yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize