So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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