I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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