Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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