My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize