I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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