well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
