THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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