He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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