He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
