you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I want her autograph on my taint
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
