And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
