I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
