She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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