We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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