Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
smell my finger.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
