i was rollin on her like bob the builder
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
