We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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