You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
