so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
