your thong is hanging out like whoa
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
