im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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