Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
