Sponge bath it is.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
