Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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