Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
