i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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