ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
