She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
PANTIES FOUND
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