And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
