Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
