***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
