shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I see more hoeing in ur future
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
