Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
