the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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