omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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